upcoming video...

I will be reading this book which is on my summer reading list... and then reviewing on through a video. The video will be published on here...and I will take any questions on the book... if you'd like... The book isn't that long so I should be through reading it in 2 weeks or so. I am also reading the Game of Thrones.

Just wanted to let you know to expect something!!

back again

I know its been awhile. Things have been rather crazy. Actually I just haven't had the time to work on this site. I have many ideas for its new direction and I was thinking of personalizing it a bit more by uploading videos. I am thinking about doing book reviews and then uploading them on here. My book has stalled somewhat because I feel that I need to do more research about my topic and read some of the same genre literature. I love summer because I can read at the beach...without interruption. I may be reviewing canonical texts and your every day non-classical texts. I will try not to put any spoilers in there, but that may be difficult. If you have any requests for books let me know. I will add them to my list. I would also love to have discussions about books or even a cyber book club- where we all read the same book and then discuss via a website/chat room...etc. I need more followers for that.. lol. Vamos a ver.

Pingy

Pingy

sneak peak of another short story that came to me

Much like pregnancy, marriage, and death it all started with an accident. Often I look back and wonder if there was anything I could do to change what happened, to change the things I have done, to change what I have become. There are times I feel as though I am being split into two different people. I cannot make sense of it, nor can I trace some step in my past which led to this path. After the first accident, my dreams became infested, dark, brooding. There were countless times I woke up scared to go back to sleep. Scared of what I would see. I would be cold to the touch, but would need a sip of cool water in order to go back to sleep. I always forced myself back to sleep no mater how scared I was because being awake in the dead, still night could be just as scary as my dreams. Of course I was younger then, but I can still remember seeing things in the shadows, watching me. I pinched myself to ascertain whether or not I was sleeping. I always felt the pinch. As more accidents happened, more shadows visited me. Attempted to make contact. I wanted nothing to do with them. It is my belief that they wanted me to do their bidding, but I have no master, I am my own master.

Batso III

Samuel was on the other side of the village. He had never arrived at their secret spot. He was sure Hannah was furious. He let her down twice. First by not showing up and second by not telling Martha. When Martha came to call on him at work she invited him to supper. Although he had agreed to this his intentions were marred. He had hoped he could stop by Hannah's to tell her they would meet later on his way to Martha's. But to his utter surprise Martha was there at the end of the day waiting for him. As they walked to her house he never quite found the right time or the right words. This was to say the least a delicate matter. Instead Martha found them,
"I have begun to think of our marriage. I believe my parents have invited you to dinner to discuss a date."

"So you are ready to marry then?"
"Wherefore would I not be ready? I do not understand."
"I do not know what I meant...."
"You are a good, humble man. Any woman would be fortunate to marry you."
"Yes, maybe."
"Is something wrong?"
"Allow me to be frank. Have you ever cared for anyone?"
"What is your meaning?"
"Another man. Have you had feelings for another man?"
"I am not sure this conversation is entirely proper, Samuel."
"Perhaps not, Martha." They continued to walk in silence.

Once at Martha's her parents obliged him to stay for dinner. How could he refuse? What he did do is this: he informed Martha that since she will be working on the farm they may not see each other. He would also be busy. To which Martha asked, "Could we at least walk home together from church?"
Samuel replied, "Hopefully." He explained that there was much to be done due to their impending wedding. He would have to help his parents ready the house in case they moved in with them for a period of time, which is most likely probable. Secretly, Samuel hoped the distance would allow him time- time to find the right words and time to allow the empty space between him and Martha to grow so she would not be so hurt. During this time he hoped to see Hannah. Often he thought of eloping with her, but he did not know where they would elope to. Or he could pay someone to marry them. It did not matter how, she would be his and that is all that would matter.

On his way home, he passed by their spot. Hannah was not there. He went out of his way to pass her house. Her light was not on so he went home empty hearted. Early he woke to again pass by her house before work, but she was not there. On Sunday he finally saw her. She was wearing a green dress he had never seen before on her. He believed she never looked so beautiful. She could have been an angel sent down from God. After church he saw her talking with Richard and an intense feeling held him captive. It was something he had never quite felt before- something akin to anger, but also to sadness. He stood by as Richard whispered something in her ear, which made Hannah smile. Her smile is mine, he thought. Just then Martha interrupted his spectating.
"Good day Samuel."
"Martha."
"Shall we..."
"Shall we what?"
"Walk home now?"
"May as well."
"You seem troubled Samuel."
"I am not feeling quite well."
"What is it? Shall I fetch the doctor?"
"No, no. Nothing a doctor can fix."
"I see. I do not understand."
"It is better you do not." As they walked together, the wind filled the emptiness that fell before them.

Richard walked Hannah home. She had witnessed Samuel and Martha leave together, but she was used to seeing them do so by now. She had hoped for a chance to apologize to Samuel, but the moment never presented itself. Therefore, when Richard asked to escort her home she could find no reason to say no. Richard was not Samuel, but he would do.

"I love your dress. Is it new?"
"Yes, I designed it myself."
"Quite impressive. The dress compliments your beauty. You are very beautiful, Hannah."
"Richard, thank you."
"You know I was very happy you came into the store the other day. I did not have the courage to tell you how I have always felt about you."
"What do you  mean?"
"I have watched you grow up down the street from me. Watched you in school. And here I stand with quite possibly the most beautiful woman in all of Batso."
"Richard, I do not know what to say."
"Do not say anything at all. Maybe I will see more you. I would like to see more of you."
"Yes, well then you shall."
"Enjoy the rest of your day. I know mine will not be any better than this time I have spent with you today."
They parted, but Hannah felt slightly changed. She was sure Richard meant he was courting her now.

Samuel could not stop thinking of Hannah and Richard. He finally decided to go see her. On the way, he saw Emily, Hannah's dearest friend.
"Emily!"
"Samuel."
"Could you do a small favor for me?"
"Certainly."
"Could you go to Hannah's and see if her parents are home. I borrowed a tool from her father and have neglected to return it. He is quite mad and I would rather give it to Hannah. I will wait here for you to return."
Shortly thereafter, Emily reappeared and informed Samuel that Hannah was home alone. He thanked her and continued walking to Hannah's. He came upon her back door. He knocked, once, twice. Hannah opened the door just as his hand was clenched to knock again.
"Samuel." Her attempt to conceal her happiness revealed itself through a half smile which escaped her lips.
"You are alone?"
"Yes." Hannah blushed.
"Good. How long until they return?"
"A while. They are supping at my uncle's this evening."
As he made his way inside and stepped past Hannah, he managed to inhale some of her scent. Her hair was down, slightly  in her eyes all of which invoked a feeling he felt all too often before- a feeling he was not sure of since he had only ever felt it for Hannah.
"I am so sorry Samuel."
"For what? It is me who is sorry. I should be apologizing. I am sorry, my love." He gathered her in his arms, pressed her head upon his chest.
"But I overslept and di not come to our meeting place until an hour and a half past the time."
"Is that so? I was at Martha's. She came to see me at work and I offered to walk her home. Upon arriving her parents asked me to stay for dinner and I could not refuse."
"So neither of us went to our spot at the appointed time?" Hannah allowed a giggle to escape her mouth.
"No I suppose not."
"I was so worried you were angry."
"As was I, then I saw you with Richard."
"Oh, yes I believe he..."
"He what?"
"Desires me. He asked for permission to court me soon. He told me so himself."
"And what did you do?"
"What choice did I have? I can tell him I need time, but I am not sure how long that will last."
"I will tell Martha before this week si out. You have my word." He then kissed Hannah, put his fingers through her hair. She instinctively put her hand upon his back, leaned up with her body braced against his. When they finally pulled away he whispered, "How long do we have?"
"Enough time." She lead him upstairs to her room and closed the door behind them.

Their bodies lay entwined- bare skin upon bare skin. Sounds in the house beneath them roused Hannah and Samuel from their peaceful slumber.
"They are home."
"What should we do?"
"I will tell them I do not feel well and am in bed early. They will not disturb me. When they have gone to bed I will take you downstairs and lead you out."
As Hannah put on her night gown Samuel watched as if bewitched. Even now, even after he had felt her- all of her, his body still ached for hers.
"Should you dress?" she whispered.
"I will. Go." Hannah left the room leaving Samuel alone with his thoughts.

When she returned Samuel was not in bed although his clothes were still laying on the floor.
"Samuel?"
He came from behind the door. She jumped, attempted to scream, but he gently placed his hand over her mouth. She felt his longing for her upon her leg. Impulsively, he lifted her night gown and took what had been his, what would always be his. As they lay in bed, she listened to his heart beat. Counted the beats, followed the rhythm. This must be love. She heard the door t her parents room open and close.

"Now may be the time. I will check." She quickly surveyed the house. All candles had been put out. Now was in fact the time. She quickly returned to her room. "Get dressed. We must hurry."
Samuel obeyed; dressed and washed up with the basin. Hannah lead him down the stairs and unlocked the back door.
"I love you. Marry me tomorrow."
"If only. I love you too."
"For me, nothing else can bring us any closer. We are married. Tonight was our wedding night."
"Please then make it official."
"I will, my love."
They kissed and parted. When morning came, their parents had to rouse them. Both slept so soundly, so deep within their dreams.

some trials and tribulations of working on a novel

Things happen. Things that are rather unforeseen. One such thing happened to me. So I have had this lapse in time from writing as I have said. Little by little I have begun working on the Batso story- and of course I realize I could have started it out differently so that the ending would be as I like to call "full circle." But that is the nature of the beast- that we realize how to make things better by trial and error, and by thinking about it. Or as the story comes together- binds itself tighter... begins to take form, shape- This also happened with me about the novel. I had the dream like I said and have been desperate in my attempts to recapture it. Yet, nothing has really come to mind. I was subbing today and an idea struck me this thin, bit of a memory from the dream. And suddenly I saw the main character- lying on a makeshift bed- about to give birth. I saw her features. Saw pieces of her life. And I began to write. So now this beast has taken me on a trip- and I am not sure how or if the two pieces will be able to come together. The other piece I am referring to is the parts that I wrote on this blog stating it was part of the novel. I think it can be done- glued together, but it needs to be done with precision and accuracy. Not to mention style. I think I may hold off on writing stuff on here until the finished product is complete. Then I will post things in  parts- as I have been doing. I say this because I hate finishing something and realizing its missing an ingredient. The best way I can explain this is that when you're cooking a pie- and you realize you missed the sugar, well you know the pie is gonna suck. And that's how I feel about my work even on here. Albeit I don't always proof read thoroughly but its not the same. The proof reading is the whip cream on the pie...the final touches... unless its horrible it doesn't take away from the meat of the story. So tonight I will try  to type the rest of the story for Batso- make corrections to the beginning of it...

Oh and while day dreaming I had another story idea... it will also take place in the early 1900s in a village similar to Batso. I will post that today too... I am very excited about it.

I was thinking in conjuction of discussing my work on here- I would also like to share what I am reading and post reviews of it. Everything I read affects me- either personally and/or my work as well. I love reading a good piece of literature that can touch my heart- but also makes me envy the prose. I suppose that's of the many reasons I want to become a teacher... Anyway... I am currently reading Paint it Black by Janet Fitch. I love her style... highly recommend her. I should get to typing up the stories... ciao.

stories

I have been extremely busy between work, life, and well sleep. But I am working on finishing the Batso story, have a new idea for another batso story.... and had an incredible idea for the book but i never wrote it down so its vanished into the recesses of my mind. Goodness knows if it will ever come back to me. C'est le vie. Anyway, by the end of this week I hope to have Batso complete!

xox
J