Selected "Love" Poems

waiting for a sign
in an icy room
where my breath turns white:
proof my heart still beats.

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on a tiny piece of paper

i jot down your name

in pretty cursive...

with words i dare not say

to such a face.

ill hide it hoping you will find it

someday, somewhere-

these feelings can no longer stay

fighting not be forgotten and

withered away...

when you find that tiny piece of paper

you will think of me- 

even if only for a moment

you will be mine.

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i remember vividly

walking you to the door complacent. 

a shallow kiss given as a feeble promise 

that hours cannot change the heart.

the words of goodbye are as thin as the air 

we breathe, which hits my skin like a burn

only hot metal can yield;

a deep, branded scar- 

sore and red as raw meat. 

I wanted to stand there until your

silhouette faded,

watching the distance between you and me

become far greater. 

You were here and you were not.

I closed my eyes and the door. 

bring me back from the dead

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my need is deep

you promised so much, too much. too little too late.

you promised to keep me safe

from this ever rising tide

you promised i wouldn’t have to hide

i spoke to you secrets never spoken 

except to empty cinder blocks 

who will not betray

all that my words cannot say

its wartime and the rations are low

i would chase and follow

but im not sure where to go

say it....i need to hear....i need to need....

just as god needs the devil;

i need you.

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Reciprocation. 

maybe there is a chance she was right.

accepting.

believing.

is all the same. 

and maybe, just maybe, 

you are the cure I’ve been looking for.

you'll see, you'll see. 

now it's not just me. 

as the paper burns down

disintegrates into all but ash

i trace the outline of your lips in my mind

pulling a memory off the shelf; 

smoke clouds suffocate the reverie

leaving your lips

lost in time forever.

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Spill Into the Night

when all the tears have been shed

and all the words have been said,

these bruises will fade.

all that’s left to do is: invade.

take no prisoners, make no amends. 

swiftly the war ends. 

feelings were slaughtered; blood spread like a disease,

beg for mercy, beg for retribution, beg to be put at ease.

broken bones can be mended,

i will lie to you, tell you this was nothing i intended.

to fall so deep into you. 

i close my eyes...and imagine you are here. 

given the chance....i would have....

fluttering back and forth on the brink of...feeling.

feelings fill this tiny, fragile heart.

its nothing like our dreams...

but dreams are only utopian manifestations 

of the promised world...

tonight when i crawl into bed....

feeling my way through the cold, cotton sheets...

ill pretend you're lying there waiting for me...

with bodies entwined like tangled ivy growing upon a building...

we can finally sleep. 

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and if we stood here all night

gazing over the still to the still waters 

i'd whisper a secret in the wind

praying you'll answer my wish

praying you'll hold my hand

because even here, now, 

when most slumber,

and only the mistakes lay awake,

i can only think of you.

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I reached over

hand met cold cotton sheets

my heart searched the night for you

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you pretend to be dead.

still, lifelike...almost like an entombed shell of a man. 

your eyes are like immobile beads of glass, 

always steadily watching, never wavering. 

expressionless face, tight jaw- your silence says it all.

you care.

im not alone. but you fail to see beyond that which remains visible:

its you i think of before i slumber,

its you i think of as i wake,

its you which consumes my dreams-

its you i long for in the middle of the night.

you cross into my mind, seep into my thoughts like acid...

melting its way to my core. 

oh god, how you leave me wanting more-

how i want you so. 

all of this maybe you will never know-

you see:

the time has come to surrender;

for you are not the only pretender. 

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and now its time for you my dear:

you spoke

i listened

you laughed

i cried

told you i may

commit suicide

you coveted

i gave

you lost

i fell

couldn’t bear 

to say farewell

you grew easy

i grew heavy

left me feeling 

quite unsteady

you

i

(ties may be disarticulated; limbs recovered; promises severed; words shed)

you 

i

unsaid.

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It's in the Eyes

fighting off sleep

stealing furtive glances

before they wither away

 

logging,

collecting,

the data 

of his face, 

his smile,

his lips,

the sound of his laugh,

the feeling of his hands

 

on mine

on my skin

 

ripping me open

like an old battle wound

painful

but beautiful 

all the while. 

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Refuse. 

It’s time.

(I’ve paid enough for this crime.)

It’s long overdue. 

(What can I pursue?)

I’ve got nothing left to prove.

(I don’t have a single move)

Nothing left to lose.

(what is there for me to choose? )

I’ve already lost you  

And I won’t lose me too.

It’s as clear as the wind 

(We’ve both sinned.)

You care about me not.

I’m a fictional character

Living in a world of dreams

(Nothing is as it seems.)

And as I slumber,

I remember.

I saw all the wrong signs

Prayed for all the wrong things

(How my heart still clings.)

Maybe I saw what I wanted to see

Maybe I prayed to the wrong entity

Not sure if anything I did was right

(Will I be alright tonight?)

Except this.

It’s like breaking my heart all over again.

(I begged for you to explain.)

I really did some leg work

Didn’t I?

It’s time (I’ve paid enough for this crime).

It’s long overdue.

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N[o] O[ne] W[ins]

how could anyone forget?

you're a solider.

and damn son, you play the part well.

every move you make,

is hard, calculated and measured.

you never falter,

never waver. 

for you, there is no past or future;

there is only now. 

for you, feeling is not first,

for you, life is a paragraph,

for you, death, you think, is a parenthesis. 

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Save the flesh, leave the heart. 

How deep your words burn

Speak softly, just like the wind

Even now, I still yearn.

As we made love, I listened to the pounding of the rain.

I felt your heart beat as our hands entwined

I watched as you left, so this is what they call window pain. 

The more you pull, the tighter the chain

You speak in riddles, love me, love me not,

As we made love, I listened to the pounding of the rain.

I used to be able to feign,

Hide everything that was mine,

I watched as you left, so this is what they call window pain. 

All I wanted was for you to explain,

(Tell me why you don’t want me as I want you),

As we made love, I listened to the pounding of the rain.

You want me to refrain,

Hold back, stop loving you. 

I watched as you left, so this is what they call window pain.  

I can’t stop, my heart is forced to sustain,

Carry on until you bleed me dry,

As we made love, I listened to the pounding of the rain.

I watched as you left, so this is what they call window pain.