bits

I knew. The way only a woman can know. Something in me, traveled through my blood, through my veins, and up to my brain. It was this muscle, which sent the message to my heart: you are with child.
Then the physical signs appeared almost as if on cue. I had to keep these hidden from everyone, which meant I had to lie and hide.

*the above is a potential bit for the book*


It was just another day. Every Friday I went to the Silver Coin Diner and ate in the back corner furtherest from the counter. Every Friday evening at 6 P.M. my grandfather and I would eat at this same table. The waitresses would come and go, but Nancy had been there since I could remember. Every Friday she would wait on me.

“What will it be tonight, sweetie?”
“Surprisingly, not the usual. Today I was given a promotion so I think I should celebrate.”
“I’ll be! That is a blessing, truly a blessing. You know what that means right?”
“What, Nancy?”
“Free dessert. On me. I insist. And don’t you dare say anything about how you can’t afford to gain any weight. If I hear that out of your mouth I may force Jerry to  put more fat in your food just outta spite!”
“Fine, fine. But to drink  I just want the regular ice water with lemon please.”
“Alrighty, I can’t take that away from you now. What will it be to eat?”
“Give me prime rib cooked rare with a baked potato and veggie of the day. I will have sour cream and butter for the potato. For my salad I will have blue cheese and Russian dressing mixed.”
“Girl, you must be celebrating. You haven’t had that weird salad dressing  since he was here.”
“Yeah, I know. I wish he was here. Even though I'm happy I am also a little stressed because the promotion may require me to move for awhile so I can train.”
“Well its only temporary right, sweetie? You will get to come back and have a better job, make more money so it will all be worth it. Who knows maybe you will meet the man of your dreams while you’re at training. Some brad pitt good looking fella.”
“I wish.”
“I’ll put your order in and get the bread. We tried something new tonight for the bread. I think you will be very pleased.”

My mind couldn't stop thinking about whether or not moving and taking the promotion was the right thing to do. After four years I deserved a promotion. I stayed late, worked hard, and loved my job. I hadn't missed a day of work yet.

“Tonight, we made fresh homemade blueberry muffins. Charlie’s cousin came down from New Jersey and brought their home grown blueberries. They are mighty good.”

It had started to rain. I looked out the window to watch the water distort the glass.  It was then, at that moment, that I saw her. She was there, standing in the rain, but remained dry. She was the saddest girl I have ever seen. I blinked and she was gone. I rubbed my eyes. I must be tired.

Nancy brought me my salad. I was a little shaky.

“You alright? You look two shades lighter than chalk.”
“I’m fine.”
"No you’re not."
There she was. Squatted down at my table staring at me. There was a ghost staring at me, telling me I was not ok.

*I felt compelled to write one night and this is what happened. Haven't re-read it or proofed it... just let it flow. Come what may...*